In 1995, Match.com was launched. It was the first of its kind – an online dating service that allowed its members to search for other members who shared the same interests, values, and goals and begin a digital relationship before actually meeting in person for a real date.
Prior to this time, there were dating services, but they were brick and mortar establishments that personally interviewed their clients and then manually “matched” singles, all of whom were looking for long-term relationships/marriage.
And prior to dating services of any kind, singles met each other in very traditional ways:
- They met in school (high school or college)
- They met at work
- They met via mutual friends
- They met at social events – parties, weddings, and such
- They may have met at local bars and clubs
The common denominator in all of this dating was that it was local and limited to rather narrow environments.
Enter Digital Dating
The Internet disrupted our lives forever. And it certainly changed consumerism. Today, we shop online; we research companies and products as we make purchasing decisions; and we tend to want speed and efficiency as we do this.
It was only natural that savvy entrepreneurs saw an opportunity to capitalize on the behaviors, wants, and needs of this “new” consumer in their dating habits.
Thus was born the online dating industry that was begun with Match. Today there are over 8,000 such websites and apps, and this industry is now a multi-billion dollar one.
Match began as a large general site for heterosexual singles to meet, converse, and get to know one another before making the decision that a real-life date would be worthwhile. But it evolved as did many others who saw great opportunity.
Diversification
The “big boys” in the online dating industry, such as Match, eHarmony, and Plenty of Fish have grown to the extent that they now have dating categories for all types of demographics, and users can place themselves in those categories as they search and get matched with others.
But niche sites have grown exponentially, appealing to specific demographics – seniors, single parents, career professionals, farmers, race/ethnicity, religion, and the LGBTQ community with sites like this one. There is even a site for gluten-free singles and one for those who like beards.
The Process for Membership and Use
All online dating services operate similarly. People access the site or app and sign up, providing a minimal amount of personal information. They then set up an account with a short profile, giving some interesting and engaging information about themselves and a few photos – enough to pique the interest of others. They also state their preferences for a match and the type of relationship they are looking for – a hookup, casual dating, friendship, or a serious relationship that is long-lasting.
Once the profile and preferences are set, the dating app algorithms go to work to find the closest matches and present them. On most sites, members are also free to search on their own as well. As soon as two people have indicated a mutual “like,” they are then free to communicate – usually through messaging, voice calls, and even video chats.
The Attraction of Online Dating
There are some clear benefits to online dating that cannot be ignored.
It’s Convenient
Most of us lead pretty busy lives. And we rely heavily on our mobile devices, to check emails, to do our banking, and to make purchases. Online dating allows us to check our account and see who has shown an interest in us, who has responded to our messages, and who we may want to develop more of a relationship with by sending some messages or calling.
We can meet some potential partners and talk with them without the need to at a specific physical location. And there is no timeline for “dates.” Anyone can begin or cease to date at any given time.
It’s Become Popular
According to the Pew Research Center, about 30% of Americans have at least tried online dating. And, according to Statista, 17% of Americans are now active users of dating sites and apps. That’s 60 million, just in the US alone.
With such popularity, the “field” of potential matches and meaningful relationships is large – far larger than an individual would meet in their own “neck of the woods.”
There is no longer any stigma attached to online dating as in the past. What’s more, users of these sites and apps can filter their matches for specific locales, so they are only presented with potentials who are close by.
You Learn More About Each Other Faster
When you have a first date with someone in real life, you learn a bit about each other. And each date thereafter, you learn more. This takes time, energy, and, yes, money. And if you learn things down the road that are deal-breakers, you have wasted that time, energy, and money. In real life dating, you may have to kiss a lot of toads before finding your prince or princess.
Online dating allows you to explore each other’s interests, values, goals, opinions and more through open but private communication. When you decide to meet in person, you already have a good idea of compatibility.
It’s a Great Venue for Shy People
Many of us are not comfortable when meeting others for the first time. This can be an issue during the first few dates. Online dating is far less “scary,” and the shy person has time to build rapport with someone far more easily. With each communication, they are more at ease, and their great qualities will come through. When and if they do connect for in-person dating, all of that anxiety has disappeared.
Rejection is Easier to Handle
Not all connections made online are successful. An individual begins to communicate with someone and, after a while, they are “dropped.” In real life, that can be painful. Online, not as much. If someone is “dropped,” they can simply go on to explore other connections, and the pain of rejection is significantly reduced.
Meeting People You Would Not Normally Meet
This is probably one of the most valuable benefits of online dating. People are often rather “stuck” in their physical social circles, and meeting new and different dating partners is difficult. When dating online, they meet locals they would never meet otherwise.
Dating Multiple People at the Same Time
If someone is into casual dating without a goal of a permanent long-term relationship right now, online dating is the best option. Get to know several people and set up in-person dates at will.
In the End…
Online dating, if nothing else, is interesting. Many sites have chat rooms where like-minded people can gather for socialization and discussions. You will meet people you never would have met otherwise, and who knows? You might just find “the one” if that is what you are looking for. What’s the risk? There is none.